Shatter Me

Shatter Me  - Tahereh Mafi This time, there will be no "Like" or "Dislike" part. Simply because I couldn't think of a single thing that I like about this book.

Writing style

- At first, Mafi's i'm-trying-to-be-poetic notable writing style seems promising. But when you overuse something, obviously, it starts to lose its effect..I hereby present you, a few of the shittiest most uncanny quotes in Shatter Me:

The sky is raining bricks right into my skulls.

I study every quivering branch, every imposing soldier, every window I can count. My eyes are two professional pickpockets, stealing everything to store away in my mind.

I want to stamp him into my skin and save him forever.

The sun is revolving around the moon when he responds.

His lips are 2 pillows, so soft, so sweet.

... and one day I will pluck the moon from the sky and fit it in your mailbox. (Acknowledgement)

I'd like to cry into his eyes.

(nevermind, I'm too lazy to type the rest of it.)

- Also, something is wrong with Juliette's organs:
My lungs are swinging from my rib cage.

Every organ in my body falls to the floor.

There are 400 cotton balls caught in my windpipe.

My spine is conducting enough electricity to power a city.

Try to keep my organs from falling out.

Especially her jaw:
My jaw falls off.

I manage to pick my jaw up off the floor.

My eyelashes trip into my eyebrows; my jaw drops into my lap.

And I have to make a conscious effort to keep my jaw from unhinging.

My jaw is dangling from my shoelace.

- Present tense? It's not really profitable to you, Mafi. Especially since your characters are so one - dimensional.

-
There's a queen - size bed in the middle of the space, lush carpet gracing the floors, an armoire flush against the wall, light fixtures glittering from the celing.


This is not how you write descriptions. Elaborate. Also, Mafi is writing from Juliette's POV, a person who notices like, every single of her surroundings.

- Too many hyperbole like this:
It takes 5 years to walk to the elevator. 15 more to ride it up. I'm a million years old by the time I walk into my room.

Characters

- Juliette

+ Our protagonist is supposed to be an insane person with an incredible power. But here's the problem: I don't think she's insane. Adam is correct about one thing: Juliette doesn't seem like a person with mental illnesses, just traumatized based on her interactions with other people. We all know "that girl": the Mary Sue one who is so pretty and cares about everyone. Yeah. That's Juliette for you. You wouldn't even think that she's been in isolation.

+ Also, I think that making Juliette vulnerable and helpless is realistic. However, it also made the book so fucking boring quite uneventful. Juliette doesn't actually develop anything until the last few chapters, and no, it's not good either. Because...

+ You think that a girl who was traumatized during her childhood can actually use a gun successfully when she's previously so afraid of hurting people? fuck you fuck you fuck you. No

+ Her stupidity made me cringe so many times I lost count.

+ She also have night vision? Damn. How incredibly convenient.

+ Doesn't know how to drive and anything about cars at first. Knows what a rearview mirror is 5 minutes later.

+ When you're half through the book, you will probably think Juliette is not human anymore. She's always melting into something:
James and Adam glance back at me and I melt into pink Play - Doh.

...but I melt until I'm a handful of hot butter dripping down his body.


- Adam

+ The most boring boyfriend ever His appearance did nothing to the book overall and unnecessary, even if he was the main character in this book. Well, at least that's how we see him through Juliette's POV. He's just a bunch of muscles and we know it's beautiful already allruing pale blue eyes. Seriously.

+ They were running for their lives and he stills want to make out with Juliette.

- Warner

+ The only character that has potential in the whole book, since he's truly insane. As some of you who are currently reading my review may have noticed, I love psychotive people. However, Mafi is turning him into a love interest and failed miserably by making him said so many fucking cheesy things things that are totally out of his characters. So this is your plan of making the "Warner Team" readers buy your next book?

- Kenji

+ Annoying as hell Quite tiresome, to be honest. Are you sure there's nothing wrong with his jaw, Mafi? He grins so much I thought that he must have broken it by now.

+ He has the power to turn his clothes invisible too?

- Winston

+
It's just a nickname - his last name is Kishimoto. He gets mad when we chop it in half. Gets sensitive about it.


You're a dick, Winston. Man, no wonder dude is pissed.

- Castle

+ Mafi tried too hard to make Castle a "mad scientist" of some sort.


Setting

- Dystopian my ass. Action my ass. This is disguised paranomal romance for teenagers: Lots of steamy scenes, zero sex. There are way too many convenient scenes in this. For example:
The keys are in the ignition.
There's a bag of groceries in the backseat.

- Shatter Me is like a 1984 - wannabe. I really hope that there will be more details about the society in the next book.

- This doesn't even deserve to be shelf in science - fiction. Mentions of too many impossibilities without reasoning is unacceptable. Will look into the so call "serum which tracks location and work with human bodies' natural processes, however stops working when counteracts with radionuclides". Mafi seems strangely fond of the word "molecular".

Alternative titles

- Creative Writing gone wrong.
- Tahereh Mafi: The discovery of a thesaurus.
- Touch me touch me touch me plz touch me.

Best enjoy with: A cup of vinegar. [not pictured]